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To Spank Or Not To Spank?
#1
I will be visiting my friend this weekend who has five children ranging from ages one to thirteen. The last couple of times I visited the topic of spanking has come up. So far she has made several threats but as far a I know has not carried through. Her current partner is of the opinion time outs are just as effective as spanking though I know he spanks sometimes. I doubt my friend or her partner would spank in front of me but I would not be surprised if at least one has not occurred since my last visit. The reason my friend is reluctant to spank is she has had a history of problems controlling her anger. She has received help for this and now seems much better at managing her emotions. Her thirteen year old son has had this problem as well and when I mentored him he was spanked when he persisted with his temper tantrums. Now both his mom and him appear to have much more self control though I do believe my friend should do less yelling and threatening and more spanking when her kids push her to the limits. It is my belief though if there is any risk you might hurt your child spanking them it is best to stick to time outs or let your partner take over.
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#2
I am married to a woman who, due to mental illness, has extreme difficulty controlling her anger. It got so bad that we are now separated. But I agree with Garth - someone who can't control their temper needs to leave discipline to someone better able to deal with misbehaving children. You do not want to risk crossing into abuse, and you don't want to scare your child. I also agree that yelling is bad for everyone involved. It accomplishes nothing positive and achieves only negative.
MICHAEL
Dad of 3 boys - Michael (19), Andrew (15), Daniel (13) and mentor to 1 boy - Jonathan (13)
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