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The Forgotten Part of Discipline
#31
Exactly Nancy. I'm also not a parent who believes that every single instance of bad behavior deserves a spanking, which on boards with this topic is hard to find. Sometimes a grounding or taking away a privilege is the better route.
KAT
Mom of 4 boys - Tyler (22), Logan (19), Ryan (17), Connor (16) and 2 girls - Katie (21), Lexie (15)

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#32
(11-26-2020, 01:06 AM)Kittykat Wrote: Exactly Nancy. I'm also not a parent who believes that every single instance of bad behavior deserves a spanking, which on boards with this topic is hard to find. Sometimes a grounding or taking away a privilege is the better route.

Especially as they get older. I find that, as inconvenient as it is, grounding ends up providing plenty of opportunity to talk and since they have nothing better to do, they talk back. Wink A lot can be learned with just talking.
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#33
Grounding = Beating a dead horse....over and over and over again.
Junior Girl - Age 17
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#34
Scarlette, are you saying you would prefer a smacked bottom?
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#35
My Aunt pretty much uses spanking as her go to but my dad doesn't so when he spanks I know he really means business. That could be an argument for not spanking all the time.
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#36
(11-26-2020, 07:46 PM)Libby Wrote: Scarlette, are you saying you would prefer a smacked bottom?

In a word, no.
I'm just saying my mom and worst, my stepdad can and do get a horrible case of verbal diarrhea and repeatitis when they ground. Dodgy
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#37
Even my boys would recognise that in our household, grounding increases tension while a tap on the bottom somehow lowers it. A paddling isn't a joyous moment for anyone, including the parent, but it is just that: a moment! Normality is restored very quickly.
Henry
Single Father of Two
New Zealand
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#38
I don't think grounding has to increase tension and I don't think spanking has to lower tension. Of course, I've never simply been tapped on the bottom either. Undecided
Spanking doesn't have magical powers and I think it's more about everything that surrounds the spanking and those same things can surround any punishment. I think a punishment is going to be effective only if the one being punished is receptive to it.
There's a lot of people who claim spanking only confused them, terrified them and made them bitter.
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#39
I think grounding isn't a bad or angry kind of thing. I guess it is all about how a parent does it right? Just like spanking can be bad or angry if the parent makes it that way.
Maybe what the truth of it is that its not that grounding or spanking or any of that is a bad or wrong way but more a parent should think like this way: I don't ground good or I don't spank good so I avoid that and use what I do good. I don't think getting grounded is much fun at all but it does end up being time I spend more with my mom and dad and that isn't a bad thing you know. Whenever I am grounded we end up talking a whole lot you know? Sometimes that is when I tell them stuff I kept secret before.
Junior Girl - Age 14
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#40
I agree with Rosie. A punishment can and will work if done well. I get the creepy crawly feeling when spanking gets praised or romanticized. It's a choice a parent makes and nothing more. Heck it's probably the choice that requires the least amount of thought or effort.
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