A Higher Calling

[Garth]

It is no secret that some parents like to spank their children. Some may consider this a sin but from a psychological or spiritual point of view it is easily understood. As children many of us identify with our parents and the power we have over them. One way this power is expressed is through spanking our children. In psychological terms this is called "identifying with the aggressor". Some may consider this weird but I assure you it is perfectly normal. As parents we discipline our children because it is our duty to God as well as our proghtive to do so. The fact we like it is irrelevant. I have never met a parent that likes to hurt their child though I am sure there may be some that do. However I have met many parents who are committed passionately to spanking and feel it bonds them with their child as it did with their own parents. In other words if a spanking is given in a loving and compassionate way, it is only natural you like it as much as your children will appreciate it when they get old enough to understand the true meaning of the experience. So there is no need to feel guilty or weird as you transcend the physical experience to a higher calling.

[Garth]

I have always thought spanking was a bonding experience. How could it not be if you love your children? Anyone who would spank their child because they like to inflict pain is simply being abusive even if they believe their child deserves it. Parents who spank because they love their children, like yourself, do so trusting that they are motivated to do so in their child's best interests. They are preforming a service of kindness. It can never be a selfish act no matter how you rationalize or perceive it. If it is just all about your ego, than I would agree with you; discipline in some other way or even better, don't have children at all!

[DarkRiver]

I'm sorry Garth but I have to strongly disagree with you. As Mike said, parents should not like spanking a child. If they find pleasure in the act then they really need to stop and seek professional help.

I'm not saying that parents cannot find pride in their children taking the lessons they learn from correction and guidance. I think any parent who truly cares for their children wants that child to be Healthy, safe and capable of facing the challenges thrown their way.

Guilt can be crippling but also be positive. I feel that it causes us to question ourselves. As an example say I spank a child. Later I realize that the spanking was unjust or the wrong approach. My guilt will adjust how I respond next time. Perhaps I take longer to think if the spanking is deserved. Perhaps I realize that another consequence is needed. Maybe the misbehavior is really the child saying "I'm not getting the right sort of attention".

Would every parent think the way I do? No, we're all unique. Would my theory stated above hold up under real conditions? I don't know. At this moment in time I think I know myself well enough to have a fair idea how I would react. Of course I'm not an objective observer.

Those whom would outlaw spanking would seize upon your comments Garth with glee. It's the type of weapon they love to use to justify their own views.

Tell me God exists, I'll nod and go about my business. Tell me God supports spanking and I'll make no quibble since I don't believe in God. Tell me that your God excuses people who enjoy spanking children and I'm going to have a strong negative reaction.

[Allen]

I think if a parent gets a feeling of satisfaction after giving a sound spanking that is not the same as liking to spank.

[Garth]

Points well made DarkRiver. Whether you believe in a God or not I value your opinion. Personally as a Christian I know guilt can be very destructive and our salvation really depends on forgiveness. With God's love and guidance we can really not go wrong when we correct our children. It really doesn't matter how we feel. It is the experience that matters.

[DarkRiver]

Thank you Garth. I'm sorry, I lost my temper and did something I know I shouldn't which is respond without giving myself space to calm down.

In your response to Mike and myself I see what you were trying to communicate.

[Garth]

No problem. We are only human. I know all the members of this group like spanking or they wouldn't be here. I also know every parent has there own reasons why they are motivated to discipline the way they do and they all love their children. Over the years God has helped guide me in the direction of unconditional love and acceptance which at times has been my greatest challenge. I can truly say that there is no child I have not liked. To me they are the complete image of God's innocents. With God's guidance gentle and loving spankings have bonded me to many of them. Judging others is always a mistake. Forgiveness and acceptance is always Devine intervention!

[Garth]

It is indeed the positive effects that make us like it! It really does work at many different levels. Personally I think the physical anatomy God created provides us with the perfect place for correction. For this I am most thankful.