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Compassion
#1
A child psychologist told me once she would never hire someone who said they had a happy childhood. I think what she was thinking is that if you did not remember your own suffering as a child you would not be able to find the compassion within yourself to empathize with a child. The root of every religion is compassion. I think it would be good for every parent and caregiver to ask God's help to remember those feeling we had as children, no matter how painful they maybe, so that we can understand how are own children are feeling when they are suffering. I think if we did this the same unconditional love that Jesus, Buddha and all the Saints have for us, we will be able to pass on to our own children!
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#2
Compassion is an extremely important trait that we should all strive to find within ourselves, yet today's society tries to move people further and further away from that. It glorifies self-gratification and the demeaning of others. It is beyond sad. Sad

I think it's IMPERATIVE that we view things through our children's eyes - especially when they are about to be on the receiving end of punishment. Remember how YOU felt when you were about to get a spanking. Remember how it feels to be smaller than the adult. This is especially important if the person punishing you was doing so in anger! Angry Perhaps you were even abused as a child. Sad Do NOT allow yourself to be the same type of disciplinarian! Be the adult that you would have wanted to discipline you when you deserved it. Do not do the things that you may remember as being unfair or over the top.

Instead, show compassion to your child. Make sure they understand why they are in need of a spanking. Speak in a calm and loving voice. Use loving touch before and after the time when "painful" touch occurs. Take time after the spanking to build the child back up and reaffirm who they are a person. Make sure that they know that their worth is not defined by the mistakes they make.

When the child knows that they are loved above all else, that because they were punished by a caring adult who otherwise gave them much more positive reinforcement than negative, they will not look back on those times with regret or bitterness. This is what will encourage them to use the same type of discipline in their own homes as adults. Passing on a legacy of love is the most important thing we can do as parents and caregivers! Heart
MICHAEL
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#3
Amen, Michael.
DAVE
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#4
Well said Michael. We can not do much better than wish for the very best for our children as well as future generations to come.
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#5
Great response Michael. You said it perfectly.
NICK
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#6
(09-08-2013, 10:28 AM)Garth Wrote: A child psychologist told me once she would never hire someone who said they had a happy childhood.

This kind of bothers me, because I work hard, trying to give my kids (at least the chance for) a happy childhood.

I was abused emotionally, if not physically, and, even as I approach 50, I have a lot of bad feelings left from that. Still, I was never really hungry. I had a roof over my head. I had things to read. I had friends.

I will not say that I had a bad childhood. Was it always happy? No. Did bad things happen? Yes. But should we agonize over the bad things, or accept them, move on, and appreciate the good?
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#7
I don't know, our boys both say they had great childhoods. Lot's of love, support, laughter, fun. Of course, our house is the house all the neighborhood kids gravitate towards, largely because we have a big pool and I love to cook and feed people I think. Wink
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#8
(09-15-2013, 09:17 AM)Tissueman Wrote: I don't know, our boys both say they had great childhoods. Lot's of love, support, laughter, fun. Of course, our house is the house all the neighborhood kids gravitate towards, largely because we have a big pool and I love to cook and feed people I think. Wink

That sounds exactly like me. My place is even popular in the winter, since I have a game room with pool, air hockey, foosball, table tennis, and even some pinball machines.

On top of all that, I own my own businesses, so I can be home most of the time the kids are, which means parental supervision, so my house is popular with other parents as well.
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#9
There is almost always someone home at our house as well I often work from home so I am able to be there a lot.
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#10
When I was doing group therapy there was one girl who said she didn't like talking to her doctor since she felt he must of had a perfect life so he couldn't understand how it is for her but what the lady leading group said is you don't got to have a brain tumor to be a brain surgeon.
Do you think if somebody had a bad childhood then maybe they can't give there kid a good childhood since they don't know what it is like?
I think you can have compassion for people even if you don't have the same experiences but maybe you can't have empathy. Right?
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