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Trust
#1
The reason why it is so hard to trust other people is because they are human beings. They are not just one person. They are made up of many people or if you will, sub personalities. People who are married may know this for a fact. One day their spouse can be patient and joyful; the next withdrawn and vindictive. When are expectations are inconsistent with reality we live in a state of unconsciousness or as Jesus might say it Hell. So how do we transcend this nightmare so that we can live in a perpetual realization of Bliss. Of course the answer as all answers lie in the spiritual demension. Connecting with other human beings, no matter their sins or faults, no matter how they behave or think in any given moment, means connecting with that within ourselves which is the essence of all beingness. It is transcending thought so we see a reflection of ourselves in everyone we come in contact. People are not their personalities or our opinions of them. There true essence will shine through as sure as the sun will shine through the clouds if we allow it to just be.
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#2
That's true Eric. Every marriage is different. Unfortunately half of them end in a divorce. One of my best friends has been married three times. I told him I am getting tired of going to his weddings! LOL
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#3
It's not personal. It never is. It is all relative. Our ego creates our relationships, our thoughts and the world we live in. You can never find happiness through the ego because it is not real. It is the false perception of ourselves. It is fleeting. The only real relationship is the one we have with who we really are. When we see that in others we have connected and transcended our need to be right or in fact any personal desires. If you can realize that in any relationship whether your married or not you will find inner peace and joy. Trust no longer is an issue. There is only compassion and love in all of your relationships. As Jesus put it "You have found the pearl within".
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#4
I respect you opinion Eric. In fact I value it. As I said all thoughts or opinions are relative. We all have them and we are all entitled to them no matter how different they may be from other people's. There is no right or wrong opinion on anything because they are only thoughts. Thoughts like all form desolve. The formless or God's essence is timeless and is always present in the now. It has no past or future. My own experiences with relationships are unique only to me as yours are to you. I view them all as a gift from God. Therefore the one thing I know for sure that every relationship I have will offer me, no matter how intimate, casual or painful, is the opportunity for spiritual growth and a deepening of consciousness. In that sense none of my relationships have failed me or not been worth whiled. They will always be a main part of my spiritual practice. God Bless you and your wife and family.
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#5
Well said Eric. Without trust there can be no love.
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#6
Here is the link on trust if anyone is interested.

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#7
I admit that I've had a hard time with this thread. I've always been a trusting person. I always want to see the best in people. Blush

However, being married to an abusive spouse for 20 years (16 of them in the same home before finally forcing her to leave) has largely destroyed my feelings about trust in relationships. Sad

I understand why some here reacted strongly regarding a spouse's vindictiveness and related behavior, but I'm here to say unequivocally that there ARE people like this - people who flip the switch from fair to furious in a split second. Angry

People like these are poison and CANNOT be trusted. They destroy others and their families. Beware at all costs. Confused
MICHAEL
Dad of 3 boys - Michael (19), Andrew (15), Daniel (13) and mentor to 1 boy - Jonathan (13)
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#8
Thanks Eric. I understand nnd appreciate where you are coming from, and I never want to insinuate that loving, healthy, and trust-filled relationships (marital or otherwise) are impossible. I loved my wife with all my heart, even when she hated me in return, and did my very best to "earn" her love, respect, and trust.

Unfortunately, trust and unconditional love are impossible ideals for her. She doesn't think such things actually exist - not even between a parent and child Confused (these are her words, by the way, not mine). It took me far, far too long to accept the fact that nothing I could ever do (or our boys could do, for that matter), coiuld ever be good enough for her.

So I guess my point is this... Trust is a wonderful thing - and is an absolute must in cultivating a healthy relationship. My advice to others who may be (or will someday be) looking for a potential life partner is to establish trust as soon as possible in a new relationship, and be wary for early signs that your partner either breaks your trust - or falsely accuses you of being untrustworthy. If that happens more than a couple times... Run. Undecided

But to those of you who have found, or will find, someone who can trust (and be trusted) - be ever thankful for the wonderful gift you have been given. You probably have no idea how blessed you truly are. Heart
MICHAEL
Dad of 3 boys - Michael (19), Andrew (15), Daniel (13) and mentor to 1 boy - Jonathan (13)
Click for My Introduction
Click for My Interview
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