The Pain Body

[Garth]

Have parents ever noticed how sometimes kids just know what to do to get under your skin. It may be passive aggressive behavior, talking back, arguing or swearing. I hated it when I asked one of the kids to do something and they ignored me. Now a spanking may be needed but I think it is important to wait a few seconds, minutes or as long as it takes to ensure that your pain body is not in control of you. In other words instead of just reacting, first recognize what you are thinking and become aware of how your mind is effecting your emotions. This usually does not take long and will ensure that you are not taken over by your pain body when you discipline. The pain body which can be easily activated by your relationships with others can not be destroyed but it can be managed. You are born with it and it is part of the human condition. Be aware of it as an entity onto itself and you will respond with loving kindness in all your child rearing interactions.

[JohnB]

I think it’s best to wait until completely calm before addressing the child’s behaviour. The one thing guaranteed to get under my skin is for a child bring asked or given instruction is for her to answer “whatever” combined with an eye roll