Remove Ads

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter

One Persons Opinion
#1
How to convince everybody that spanking children is a wonderful thing:

A. General Approaches

1. Point out that spanking is a well established custom with an impressing, thousands of years long tradition, and spread virtually all over the world. Everybody knows that things so common over centuries and continents cannot be bad (war, slavery, malaria, stupidity of mankind).

2. Declare that there's a clear line between spanking and abuse, or spanking and beating, or spanking and violence. It doesn't matter that if you ask two different spankers about that dubious line you get three different answers. The case is clear: What you do or would do to your children is spanking (or appropriate discipline), while anything considerably more or just different (e.g. blows on other body parts than you're familiar with) is abuse or at least over the top.

3. Assert that spanking is perfectly innocuous for children – just a little pain for the moment. The mass of scientific studies that indicate rather unpleasent and lasting effects and that constitute the overwhelming mainstream of educational and psychological science you can just leave aside. You know that they are weak and biased without even reading the abstract. Trustworthy are only studies by fundamentalist institutions that assert positive effects of spanking.

4. If you have to admit some at least possible negative effects of spanking, emphasize the positive ones. Praise spanking as an easy solution for almost all problems of children's behavior and assert that all other methods don't work. Of course one doesn't have to be a scientist to see that neither this nor that is correct (with scientific basis it becomes even more clear), but who cares. You don't even have to refrain from blatant nonsense like "better spanking than jail" or "better skiing than hospital".

5. If you're talking to a conservative audience, you may assert that not spanking kids anymore will endanger our whole culture and lead directly into communism, and that kids today are out of control because of the weak modern parents (as some people stated already a hundred years ago). But make sure that you're indeed talking to a conservative audience. Otherwise you may get laughed at.

B. Personal Approaches

1. State that it didn't harm you that you were spanked as a kid, and that it made you the wonderful and righteous person you are today. (Of course no one knows whether you'd developed the same way without spanking, but...) If someone else comes up with different, negative experiences, you can choose a hard or a soft approach. For the first one, you call your opponent a whimp, tell them that what they underwent was nothing compared to [whatever], and that they should stop whining and face the unpleasent reality. For the soft approach you declare the negative experience an exception and stress the usually positive effects of spanking. Alternatively you can say that the way your opponent was spanked was probably wrong, but that spanking is a good thing if just done in a right way. That unpleasent experiences result from spanking itself is simply impossible.

2. Make up various situations of misbehaving kids, and ask your opponents what they'd do in that case. Make it plain that, in your point of view, even thinking about other solutions than spanking is ridiculous. It's a funny game that you cannot lose: not knowing the individual child and the context of the situation, none of your counterparts will be able to bring up an adequate solution. That way you can suggest there is no other solution. And if someone really comes up with an idea, you can easily switch to another situation where it doesn't work. In the end there'll be no doubt that there actually are situations where spanking is the only solution. And that makes spanking generally ok.

3. If you really have to admit that at least theoretically there are non-violent solutions, you can confine it by "but it doesn't work for all children". Is it your fault that your kids are among the latter group? It's definitely not because you're too lazy to think about other ways of parenting. All those parents who manage to raise their children without spanking surely have angel kids.
Tutor/Mentor
Reply
#2
My comments:

A
1. Spanking has evolved. For example in Canada we can only spank with our hand and between ages 2 and 12. Corporal punishment is no longer allowed in institutions here.

2. In my opinion if you leave bruises or injure a child this is both child abuse and assault. The bottom should be red only for a short while.

3. If it works it is having a positive effect. If your child doesn’t care if they get spanked time to try something else.

4. I always like to combine spanking with rewards for good behaviour. I also feel in some cases a child can be given the choice of a spanking or other punishment.

5. Spanking is not for all parents. Respect other people’s opinions about spanking. Never argue with them. You have never walked in their shoes!

B
1. You do not have to justify to anyone how you are raising your kids. If you feel you are acting in your child’s best interests, nothing needs to be said.

2. Never give advise to another parent unless they ask. If you feel they are abusing their child report it to authorities, anonymously if you wish.

3. No two children are the same. Respect their individuality. Especially as they get older.
Tutor/Mentor
Reply
#3
4. Rewards are very important overall, discipline should be mainly praise for doing things right and not just punishment for doing bad things

Alex
ALEX
Dad of 1 girl - Sam and 2 boys - Xan and JoJo.  Too old for spanking and have been for some time!
Click for My Introduction
Reply
#4
In other words “Catch your child being good!”
Tutor/Mentor
Reply
#5
Yes, indeed. One wants to make sure that good behavior is truly "normal".
Reply
#6
Agree
Reply
#7
I think the point is that most children even if there are exceptions do want to be good and please their parents.
Reply


Forum Jump:


Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)