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Mercy
#11
If one of the children disobey my rules then they got punished. If there were extenuating circumstances I might forgo the punishment however. For example if a significant amount of time had passed between the transgression and when I became aware of it. Or if after some reflection I decided a more appropriate consequence would be better. Also sometimes I might decide to give a second chance because the rule was not clear or it was not appropriate for me to spank at the time. Mercy is more something I would consider when I gave the spanking itself. Perhaps I would give a less lengthy spanking or not spank as hard. I even once just gave just one spank and decided it was not the appropriate punishment given the child’s personality and their age. Forgiveness is also important but that is another topic.
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#12
Mercy definition is - compassion or forbearance shown especially to an offender or to one subject to one's power; also : lenient or compassionate treatment.

I guess your understanding of mercy is accurate....one swat instead of the whole deal.

I've always thought mercy would mean to let someone get away with something when they've wronged you.
Junior Girl - Age 17
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#13
One may also define mercy from a spiritual point of view as giving and receiving loving discipline. To me this would mean that when a parent spanks they do it in a loving atmosphere without anger or judgement. I guess it is not so much how you spank but the attitude you have when you do it. Loving kindness, though it may seem paradoxical, can occur even though you are delivering a relatively painful spanking! When children sense this the event becomes more then just a deterrent to misbehaviour but a spiritual experience shared between parent, child and God Himself! Perhaps one could say then spiritually mercy and love are synonymous.
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#14
Call me one dimensional because there is no loving kindness, no spiritual kindness for me when I'm physically punished....the only dimension that exists at that point is the physical one.
Junior Girl - Age 17
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#15
Maybe it depends how ur punished too...I def felt there was no kindness or love when being punished by the belt....I wouldn’t say I view my spankings as not loving :/ I can tell my bros hate punishing me but I’m only able to see they’re doing it for my own good after I’ve calmed down usually
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#16
(10-01-2020, 05:53 PM)Meggy Wrote: Maybe it depends how ur punished too...I def felt there was no kindness or love when being punished by the belt....I wouldn’t say I view my spankings as not loving :/ I can tell my bros hate punishing me but I’m only able to see they’re doing it for my own good after I’ve calmed down usually

Aha here is where we view life very differently.

First, let me acknowledge that my mom and stepfather love me. I know this. They do a lot for me. I know they want the best for me....we don't always agree on what is best but...they are sincere in what they believe is best for me.

Do I feel they hate punishing me? I think that's a total fallacy. If they hated it that much they wouldn't do it. Now I'm not saying they like it or love it when they punish but it isn't paining them to do it. Think about something you hate to do....would you do it if you didn't HAVE to? No-one is forcing our parents/guardians to spank us....it's a choice they make.

The only feeling I have whenever I've been spanked... be it hand, belt, backscratcher...the only feeling I had was pain. it was causing me physical pain and it was intended to....that is the single dimension I exist in when I'm on the receiving end of physical punishment. Nothing else matters beyond it hurts and I want it to stop. One dimension. Undecided

I'm not so sure a parent/guardian spanks out of love. I'm more convinced it's about control and justice. My parents are very just people so when I break a rule they feel they have to give me a consequence to once again make all things good in the universe of Kim and Rob. Angel
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#17
You will appreciate this when you're older, whether you know it now or not.
KAT
Mom of 4 boys - Tyler (22), Logan (19), Ryan (17), Connor (16) and 2 girls - Katie (21), Lexie (15)

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#18
For a couple of years after my wife died I didn't punish the boys at all: there seemed no need. It wasnt mercy, it was seemingly unnecessary. But puberty and testosterone changed things, and grounding proved disastrous.
After several discussions the lads themselves drew up a behaviour contract that has now lasted 26 months. It works for us all. It means that paddling is something 'we do' not something 'I inflict'. Be in no doubt they intensely dislike the 'bare bottom moment' but they DO 'own' physical correction as a sanction.
Henry
Single Father of Two
New Zealand
Trillian: henryway
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#19
A parent does a lot of things they dislike doing because they love their child more than they dislike or hate anything.

I remember the first vaccine Scarlette received. It broke my heart and I cried with her. She was such a tiny little thing and had no idea why something hurt her. I felt like the mean mommy who didn't protect her baby but I was actually the responsible mommy protecting her from something far worse than a little needle stick.

I remember when mine were toddlers and I had to be very stern with a no-no and my little one would turn to me with a broken heart because I had spoken so crossly. My heart broke right alongside theirs but that was better than allowing them to run away from me in the parking lot to be hit by a car or (in Scarlette's case) attempting to climb up my living room curtains (apparently she thought she was the cat) and have the whole thing collapse onto of her.

A parent's end goal is to help their child to grow into a happy adult who contributes to the world they live in. We socialize our children. I, like every parent I know, derive zero satisfaction out of spanking one of my girls. On the otherhand, I don't feel any guilt or remorse for doing so because it is my job to help them reach the end goal. Like the vaccination or the stern mommy voice, a spanking is unpleasant in the moment (for everyone) but it will hopefully help the child to reach their final destination in one piece.

So yes Scarlette, in the moment it hurts and yes, it is supposed to hurt but there is more love there than you can possibly understand until you have a child of your own.
Mother of Three Daughters
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#20
I don't like getting spankings. I'm leaning against using them when I'm a mom. So I'm hardly the closet supporter of parents. But as someone who experienced 13 years of my life with no one caring what I did, one way or the other, and now 5 years with someone caring enough to punish when they feel it is necessary, I 110% support the idea it is done out of love. Lack of love was the 13 years where no one cared about me. I wish mom didn't spank, but I'm glad she's my mom even if she spanks me, because she at least cares enough about me to do something she hates doing. You won't know what I'm talking about because you've never had to go through your life feeling like NO one cared.
— Maddie
Junior Female Alumna (20)

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