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Consequences
#11
(10-15-2020, 03:38 PM)Kittykat Wrote: I've never felt it was okay for parents to do this personally. All it does is cause humiliation for your kids as they get older. When they're small it's not so terrible but as they get older its just wrong IMHO.

I had a friend who did this and kept it up on the fridge for anyone who entered the kitchen to see, and her kids age ranged from 16 to 5. It was so embarrassing for their teenage son.

I agree. Some people don't deserve to be parents.
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#12
I agree that those consequences seem a little on the easy side. I don't think it's that horrible for people to be open about the fact that they spank their kids. A lot of it will depend on the community or region that you live in as well as your kids social circle and how common or rare spanking is in it.

That being said I am not a fan of the set consequences for set behaviors. I feel you need to have some wiggle room and discretion as far as deciding the consequence that fits the particular offense for the particular child.
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#13
We have a signed discipline contract. I didn't write it; they boys did. Hence it is very wordy, but effectively uses three pages to say:
-no domestic corrections for school matters
-two consequences for anything going wrong: 'advice' and 'sanction' ( read telling-off and paddling).
-only four offences: Disobedience; Disrespect; Dishonesty; Dangerous conduct.

The contract is folded up and hidden behind a clock on the mantelpiece.
Henry
Single Father of Two
New Zealand
Trillian: henryway
[Image: BuzWiUO.png]
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#14
The difference is your contract isn't on display.

I don't know about geographic location playing a part in the rightness or wrongness of this. Punishment is embarrassing no matter where you live. There is no rationale reason for a parent to put it on display....much better to do a Henry and put it where no-one else is going to see it.
Junior Girl - Age 17
[Image: LvC4Dwd.gif]
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#15
Yes. I don't think there's anything wrong with having explicitly written out rules and consequences, but I'm not sure why you would display them in the open. Even putting them somewhere the child (ten) will see them regularly doesn't mean it has to be where everyone else can as well.
SAMANTHA
Mother of a baby, Step-mother of two girls
Click for My Introduction
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#16
(10-16-2020, 07:54 AM)Scarlette Wrote: I don't know about geographic location playing a part in the rightness or wrongness of this. Punishment is embarrassing no matter where you live.

I actually do think this depends, and on boys vs girls and a lot of things. In some places it might be seen as mature/cool to willingly accept a harsh punishment, especially from a father. A lot of boys in a lot of places have thought that way. And in places where physical punishment is normal a lot of girls will simply accept it, not necessarily see it as embarrassing, even if it isn't seen as "cool" or manly.
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#17
I know I feel embarrassed in NYS and I would feel embarrassed in Georgia were I was born to. It is embarrassing. I think at least for me it is about age more then were you are at. Like when I was 5 I would have no problem saying I'll get spanked but at 14 I'd rather die then tell somebody in my real life that.
Junior Girl - Age 14
[Image: LvC4Dwd.gif]
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#18
I can understand that.
Some high school students definitely feel comfortable telling their friends about this, to some extent. But that is also in places where schools openly and frequently use the paddle, and they are probably more open to talking about this than most of their classmates. And it is true that sharing with friends is different from sharing with other people in the school.
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#19
How is Christian to embarrass your kid? JW🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️
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#20
(10-17-2020, 07:12 PM)Meggy Wrote: How is Christian to embarrass your kid? JW🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

In the church I go to it would be more about teaching humility than saying to embarrass your children. I don't agree with that but it's me against a congregation. Dodgy
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