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Channel News Asia on Caning and Spanking
#11
(11-01-2020, 06:37 AM)Kim3 Wrote: My husband has a lot of traditional views but that doesn't mean he isn't forward thinking. He deals with a lot of children who have behavioral problems and will tell you it's due to a lack of discipline (not punishment) in the home. I've heard him complain to himself many times that parents are the ones who need to be spanked. He isn't allowed to suggest to parents that a good spanking might set a child on the correct path or hit a reset button and that frustrates him. He is very much a child advocate but societal bias binds his hands.

Kim, you make a really important point that is frequently obfuscated by people who use discipline and punishment as synonyms.
They are quite different. One could almost argue that punishment is necessary when discipline has failed..... though this is a deliberately provocative perspective.
But I dislike the thought 'I'm going to discipline you. Bare your bottom and bend over!'
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#12
(11-01-2020, 04:31 PM)Henry Wrote:
(11-01-2020, 06:37 AM)Kim3 Wrote: My husband has a lot of traditional views but that doesn't mean he isn't forward thinking. He deals with a lot of children who have behavioral problems and will tell you it's due to a lack of discipline (not punishment) in the home. I've heard him complain to himself many times that parents are the ones who need to be spanked. He isn't allowed to suggest to parents that a good spanking might set a child on the correct path or hit a reset button and that frustrates him. He is very much a child advocate but societal bias binds his hands.

Kim, you make a really important point that is frequently obfuscated by people who use discipline and punishment as synonyms.
They are quite different. One could almost argue that punishment is necessary when discipline has failed..... though this is a deliberately provocative perspective.
But I dislike the thought 'I'm going to discipline you. Bare your bottom and bend over!'

I tend to view punishment as a part of "other discipline" that is provided until one learns self discipline. Our goal as parents should be to help our children reach that point when they will be able to exercise self discipline. Too often, in the way people think today, we expect our children to somehow learn self discipline without being taught how to do that. I punish my children because I understand that it's my job to provide that "other discipline" they need as they mature.
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